Kidnapped By Norm

The Impossibility of saying no

When I hung out with Norm, nothing was in moderation. I refer to hanging out with him, his co-producer, and best friend, Lori-Jo as being kidnapped. Most of the time it was fun, and I had no one to blame but myself for knowing what it would be, but I’d always forget that when they came by.

I’d be alone in my apartment, get a call from Norm as Lori drove toward my place, (he never drove) and he’d say, “Freddie, we’re coming by!”

I never thought what it usually ended up entailing. I was happy to get out, not eat alone, and have a fun time. After eating at a restaurant, we’d end up at Lori’s place playing all kinds of games; Password, Mill Bornes, Trivia.

Lori kept us happy going out for Malt Balls, pretzels, ice-cream. We’d play for hours, and when I said I needed to go home to feed my cats, or prepare for an audition, Norm has this persuasiveness where I couldn’t leave.

“Your cats can go three weeks without eating,” or he’d wave his hand dismissively and say something like, “Screw auditions! You’d don’t need them, you’re better than that!”

Whatever he said, I couldn’t leave. I would protest, but would always relent. I wish I could articulate what Norm had over me, was it our power dynamic, he the beloved, charming, guy with “funniest guy in the world” hip label, who every few years would seem to get another pilot of some sort and me, the guy who popped up on some seminal 90’s show, but still felt like his whole life and career, he was trying to find his place.

And we never played tennis in moderation. I’d drive him to the courts, but could never say enough was enough. We’d play for hours.

At Lori’s place, it was’t just playing board games. We’d watch movies, and it was very rare we’d see a movie I had suggested. If I did suggest one, two minutes into it, he’d scream it was crap, never give it a chance. When he’d suggest a movie, he kept looking over, asking repeatedly if I liked it? And again he was persuasive, or should I say intimidating. He’d joust me, asking if I liked it as a demand that I had to.

Many times I confess that I lied, pretending I liked something I knew was very important to him that I did. I never was a big John Hughes fan, and I pretended I loved Planes, Trains, and Automobiles much more than I did. I liked it enough, but no more than I like napping.

And while watching a movie, he’d get ideas about other movies we had to see, and we did. Movies after movies.

Like I mentioned, this was before Uber, and there were a few occasions where they picked me up, I didn’t have my car, and was held hostage, somewhere it was painful to be.

BUT there was a time I’m proud to say I successfully extricated myself, one time I have to say I stood up to him. I was picked up, we ate, and after our usual hanging out they decided they were going to look at houses for Norm.

Believe it or not, I did have things to do, as much as Norm said, “No you don’t!” and I wasn’t in the mood to look at nice houses he was considering.

I was stuck, miserable, in their car as they drove and drove, but then I had an idea. I pretended I liked it looking for houses all day. I said ”OO, let’s please look at that one on Crescent Heights!”

They agreed, and when we were on the corner of Crescent and Oakwood, at a red light, I jumped out of the car, running ahead. The house I pretended to be interested in was three blocks from my apartment.

As I ran on, Norm stuck his head out the window, cursing me out. I have to say, as I ran, I had a smile on my face. I won that one.